Been a long time. Work’s been tough. Sometimes life’s obligations just get ahead of themselves. Met some incredible new people. Discovered some amazing stuff about old ones. I have this thing about discoveries. Every time some little fact of life strikes me, all of a sudden, I treat it as a discovery. Or a realization. Like when I came back home and realized that smart-ass kid brother is like a best friend now. Like when you see you family and friends around you on graduation day, and you suddenly realize that they all love you so much, and how lucky you are to have them share a special day with you. I always let these realizations hit me headlong. So what if they aren’t big? The drama attached makes sure you remember it, and that’s what the point is. People should keep their eyes open for such realizations.
Another such realization this week. I have often heard people rant about ‘professional relationships’. With their bosses. With colleagues. With clients. Actors with actresses, marketing departments with ad agency guys, Students with instructors. People in Delhi complain about work culture in Bombay being so much better because of the professionalism in their work relationships. Sure, I don’t have that much workex, but in 24 years of life-ex, I have realized that there is absolutely nothing called a professional relationship. And if there is, it doesn’t work.
Wait. Before you launch into an indignant, and may I have the honor of saying, logical counter-attack, I may as well warn you, it will not appeal to the logic of the Goddess, so save it. I stand firm on my view, that professional relationships, if there is any such thing, have no chances of succeeding. One simple reason. A relationship must be personal. For a bond to flower, to grow and to prosper, it needs effort and nurturing, a very personal touch. I never had a professional relationship with anyone. My bosses were mentors and teachers, and neither role can work if they don’t have a certain father-figure-feeling about it. The only female boss I had was a tough taskmaster, but a dear friend and partner-in-crime when it came to making fun of less-talented colleagues (OK I hang my head in shame). My Math teacher in third grade is still my favorite, after decades, only because she treated us like her own children, even though I hate Math! The colleagues I learn most from are the ones who take me out for a beer after they have made me feel like committing suicide for making stupid mistakes out of sheer dumbness. My boss these days questions me about mundane stuff that is impossible to remember unless you have a spreadsheet in front of you, and his speed is sort of ‘flying with the riddler’ type, and he totally grabs every opportunity to make me feel like an utter fool. But the same guy shields me like an older brother from the superbosslady, who is terror personified, and never fails to throw a friendly wink my way when something particularly unpleasant was mentioned. Bombay, Delhi, who cares? People everywhere are the same. Just as long as there is that personal touch in those relationships which take up about 12-14 hours of your day, they are bound to succeed, and life will be so much happier. It’s so much nicer to work in places where you’ve made a surrogate family and tons of friends. Sure there are boundaries which are not to be crossed, and there are balances to be maintained, but which relationship doesn’t need those two things?
I have no professional relationships. That’s why I feel like going to work on Monday mornings.
