The Multitasking Mantra

Multitasking is overrated. When men claim that they cannot do two things at the same time, attributing it to dilution of focus, they do a rather smart thing. They take care not to bite off more than they can chew. With women, though, it is expected. She must be adept at talking on the phone and feeding the baby at the same time. Especially in a job interview.

If the lady wants a job, she should preferably be single – being single, in some convoluted manner, symbolizes one’s independence. If she is married but without kids, uh, umm, ok, maybe she is more stable. But what about her husband? Is he a demanding fellow who will want her home on time every night? No? Good. Because now that we are employing you, lady, you must convince us that you have no home life and that your buddy-boy can manage without you. Newly married? Uh-oh. Is that going to be your excuse to get home early? The fact that you are in love and would still like to spend time with him? Snicker. Children? Let us not get into that. I understand, while marital status defines life stage, and life stage does have quite a bearing on routines, but I don't understand how life stage defines a person. How does being a newly-wed determine that one will run home as early as possible? And which book says that single-dom translates to ‘more committed to one’s work’?

The universe plots against women who want to have it all, and balance it out. All the diamond ads, that show the pendant-wearing woman expertly handling being a mom, a cook, an entertainer, an engaging conversationalist, a romantic wife, and a nine-to-fiver, are commonplace. Whether it is lipstick, jewelry or washing machines, no one cares. But the hotshot male executive, who is holding a baby in the boardroom, see that tug at your heartstrings. It is as clear as daylight. With women, multitasking is a hygiene factor. With men, it is the three extra toppings on the pepperoni pizza.

The man can come home early and cook a disastrous dinner one day a week, and expect to be treated as a darling for even thinking of putting in the effort. But the other four nights, it is the woman’s job, and this has nothing to do with the man not wanting to help. It is just a tougher time for her when he cooks, because it is a bigger mess, more energy is expended in trying to explain the exact recipe to him, and much more energy goes into cleaning up. But the fact that she may get out of work an hour early to cook dinner will label her ‘lacking initiative’ for life. Like initiative is directly correlated to your hours in the office, even if you are doing nothing. A half hour for gym? Lady, stay home, stay happy, stay healthy.

Some ‘fun and fearless’ magazines and websites also talk about how to compartmentalize one’s life, so that one aspect of life does not affect or disrupt another. Why do they forget that people, especially women, cannot be compartmentalized, broken up into bits and pieces, to fit predefined moulds of expected roles?

Maybe it is the women’s own expectations that have projected themselves on to the world. They expected so much of themselves, to be everything to everyone, and now her employers expect the same, and her family expects the same. Looks like there’s no avenue where she can outperform the great expectations without developing ulcers. But something has to bridge this chasm between the ‘thinking’ person and the ‘feeling’ one. Someone, at some job interview, has to realize, that the part that stays in office and gets paid, is connected, heart and soul, to the one that goes home and cooks. Someone has to realize, that if she is not looked down upon, and in fact encouraged to go home and fix the damn dinner and make sure that her family is getting the best – her – she will emerge better in her own eyes. She will feel those very feminine energies of self-worth from creating and giving, energies that unleash a whole new woman at work each day.