Bonus

The electricity was out all night. Delhi heat was killing. At about two in the morning I realized I couldn’t sleep. Lit a cigarette and tried to relax. But not possible, increment letter and bonus declaration due tomorrow. One year at my first real job! Quite a few milestones…appraisal, confirmation, increment, bonus…

Didn’t realize when I had nodded off…when I woke up with a start I realized I had been dreaming…of cheques! Of a net-banking screen, where the salary credited transaction was way higher than my normal salary! Of the increment letters that carried some kind of complicated code, which one had to feed into his or her systems to find out exact amount of bonus and revised packages! And I had dreamt that I got hold of all the codes for people in the branch, and basically was lording my knowledge over the ordinary mortals who didn’t already know! Man, I never knew I cared so much about money! I never knew I cared about how much money versus how much everyone else had!

When I joined this bank fresh from campus, I had not really cared too much about the package, the benefits, the hidden costs, the perks. Before placement, I felt the raw pressure of getting placed in a good brand. After placement, I was just excited about my profile, which would not only give me an exposure to the industry, but also let me utilize my creativity to the fullest (no I’m not faffing. I mean it!) . I wasn’t even aware of HR policies in the industry, rather I didn’t bother to find out. I anyway believed in taking things as they came. Learnt how to live alone. Crossed bridges when I came to them. Life was not pre-planned and charted out. I knew of people in MBA who had posters of dollar notes instead of Brangelina. I never got it. Not that I didn’t have ambition. I just wasn’t the kind who calculated her GPA after indiv subject results were declared. I didn’t even see what others had…after all it was all comparative…I didn’t even care about attendance, extracurricular GPA (yea we had that too!). I was just pleased that I could be of some use to my family after having mooched off them for 23 years! Even the ‘breaking news’ of the record salaries weren’t eliciting the standard response from me – ‘we should have got in this year!’ I was satisfied for the moment with a challenging job with a lot of potential and a comfortable lifestyle.

Even after settling in my role, I didn’t know what was to come at the end of the year. I never understood why people got so crazy about who got how much bonus. People covertly trying to check each other’s accounts for what amount has been credited…after all bankers, them! Uska bonus mere bonus se zyaada kaise?

The branch is buzzing. In about 10 minutes the letters get distributed. No one has been able to work today. I still can’t figure out what the big deal is.

So why am I on tenterhooks?